I don’t have a lot to say right now because I have a horrific stomach flu. Y’all, my hair is falling out. And I have random bruises. All from dehydration. This is unpleasant. While I’ve got time, though, will one of you kindly explain to me why I cannot stop reading those execrable Twilight novels? I started just to see what everyone else was talking about, maybe point and laugh and mock the terrible writing, and now I… I can’t stop. What will happen to Bella! What will crazy stalker Edward do next!
Apparently this is what happens when I try to join the zeitgeist, and I have to say that I’m a little disappointed in myself. I mean, all that fancy education down the drain, you know? I almost wonder if the books are causing my mystery illness, because seriously: THEY ARE SO BAD. They’re terrible! There’s lots of gazing upon someone’s beloved perfection, and the heroine is a total fucking idiot (and yet still manages to also be a total fucking cipher), and the entire series is based on the World’s Most Unhealthily Obsessive Relationship, and also I don’t think Stephenie Meyer knows words other than “chagrin” and “perfect,” and… oh my God. This is so sad.
Quick! What else can I talk about? Uh… I had a spectacular vomit yesterday! It was truly magnificent! Never in the history of the world has there been such a OH NOEZ! AN EVIL VAMPIRE IS AFTER BELLA FOR HER DELICIOUS FLORAL SCENT AGAIN?
TO THE BATMOBILE RUN LASSIE, GET TIMMY HOW EVER WILL EDWARD SAVE HER?