I know, I know, my updating schedule is all wonky, but you know what I have? I have REASONS, which are under no circumstances to be confused with EXCUSES. Here they are in list format, because I am rushing to finish this update before Connor wakes up:

1) I have not slept! In a long time! And now I am kind of manic and groggy at the same time! I spent ten minutes yesterday sounding out the word “there.” This situation is becoming pretty hopeless.

2) My scalp is terribly itchy for no apparent reason. I just… woke up this morning (VERY EARLY this morning, almost directly after falling asleep VERY LATE) with a terrifically itchy head. I do not have any flakes, redness, sores, bugs (!!!!), or outward signifiers of itchiness. I have not switched shampoos, shared a hairbrush, or rolled ecstatically over an ant hill. I AM GOING MAD.

3) My marriage is kind of a war zone right now, what with Michael’s refusal to get out of bed before noon, remember important things, or spend any time at all away from his computer games. I missed a job interview because he would not leave the bed, nay, would not even open his eyes. I am not going to go into painful details here, but let me just say that this household has been happier. Much happier. I especially liked it when he told me he didn’t want me to get a job because he doesn’t want me to form a social life! And I really enjoyed shooting him dead shortly thereafter! (NB: I am kidding. I only stabbed him a little. We don’t believe in guns in this house!)

4) We have been out of cigarettes for almost three days. This may or may not have been a factor in the stabbing incident mentioned above. The conversation goes like this: “Hey, can you pick up some cigarettes PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF TINY BABY MONKEYS PLEASE I WILL DO ANYTHING PLEEEAAASSE?” “No, I’m in the middle of my game.” Then there is weeping, and rending of the garments, and stabbing.

5) We are also out of caffeine. I will let you imagine that conversation all on your own!

Essentially, the situation over here is pretty dire and I don’t trust myself to update in a fair, impartial, or coherent manner. I am trying to figure out how to get myself around for job searching and/or working on my own, but I am at an impasse since I don’t have a car, do have a toddler, don’t have a babysitter, and do have A VERY STUBBORN HUSBAND. I will be back when I have located and abused several different chemicals in an effort to make this situation make sense.

(Kidding about the stabbing, guys! Mostly kidding!)


3 Responses to Interrupted.

  1. Alicia says:

    What is it with boys and not wanting to get out of bed? The situation is not so dire here because J. actually HAS to get up in order to not get fired and I am his only ride to work. But seriously. If the alarm goes off at 6 because he claims he wants to start working out and losing weight (goal of no more being fat by JUNE — this is not much time amirite?!?) and we both have to shower… there is no reason for him to still be clinging at me at 7, preventing me from getting out of bed.

    This is me trying to catch up. I hope you get some sleep. I was sort of in that situation the last few days. Then I took two of my sleeping pills last night and the world looks slightly less insane.

  2. dedanna says:

    [redacted for appropriacy]

    This is because darling daughter, as much as I wish I could, I can’t help right now. Go check that thread about my eyes. It was to the tune of just over $600 for today alone. That’s not to include what’s on the way.

    I do love you, and will do everything I can for you though.

    I’m off the comp for a couple of days too, unfortunately.


  3. Mer says:

    Dear god in heaven, if I ever found myself permanently affixed to the foundation of the house and also dying of the plague and I was out of cigarettes all at the same time, Dani would CRAWL NAKED over BROKEN GLASS and STAB PUPPIES TO DEATH WITH A SHRIMP FORK to feed my need. Because I am an addict and she has to live with me and despite the evidence to the contrary she is not COMPLETELY BATSHIT LOONEY.

    Can I, like, mail you a carton of smokes and a pound of coffee or something?

    While I’m at it, btw, if your sweet darling husband is playing videogames like it’s going out of style, doesn’t that mean that the car is somewhere near by and you could, like, drive it?

    Also, finally, I’ve discovered Zero Punctuation, and learned that if I watch a bunch of episodes in a row, it completely changes how I express myself. You should go check it out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: