Nothing, really.

I am having some sort of Tae-Block… or Block-Bo… or, you know what? There’s a joke there, but I can’t find it. So anyway, I am having some sort of STRANGE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL DISORDER wherein I know I should be working out right now, but I am not. I don’t want to. I want to sit here and slump slowly into a puddle of girl-ooze in this computer chair, tongue lolling and muscles flaccid, until something happens to make me want to work out again. I know that this is a product of the long wait for appropriate Tae-Bo tapes, and I know that if I just get up and do it I will feel awesome, but no. I say nay.

(Backstory? Okay, well, I bought a Tae-Bo cardio DVD that claimed to be “fun for newcomers” and it was not. It kicked my ass and made me fall down a lot and sometimes made me just stare at the TV in a complete stupor because the people, they went so fast, and was I supposed to be doing that? And what were they doing, anyway, because it was ALL A BLUR! So I ordered the instructional and basic tapes and they took longer to come in than I thought they would so I sort of sat on my butt for a week and a half, and then when they got here I sat on my butt some more, and then I ran through the instructional tape a couple of times, and now… here I am, again with the butt-sitting. There, wasn’t that fascinating?)

Um. Where was I? Strange block, feeling lazy, don’t want to work out, typing typing typing. I don’t think it helps that it’s almost 80 degrees outside today, which means it is roughly eleventy billion degrees in my apartment (due to convection or something, no shut up I mean it, that is a REAL FIGURE). Also, I didn’t sleep well last night, probably because I haven’t been exerc — I mean, because of the stress. All the stress and worry that is exhausting me and making me sit right here in this chair, pouring out made-up excuses in a classic workout-avoidance technique. Also, I’m still kind of afraid of Billy Blanks. You know, we just haven’t built up a core of trust, and I’m feeling a little nervous about taking this relationship to the next level. What if he’s not the one? What if I regret it for the rest of my life? What if we get to the point of commifrrfgljdslkzzzzz…

What? Huh? Oh, sorry. You’re right, this is incredibly boring. What else should I talk about? There must be many exciting things going on in my life right now, which is why I’m updating on a Saturday! Because my existence is so rich and full! So, um… well, I kind of have to pee. Not enough to get out of this chair and go pee, but definitely enough to be making plans to get up soon. (Fascinating, Sara. Tell us more! I can see the headlines now: “Area Woman Avoids Exercise, Kind of Needs to Tinkle.”) Connor is hanging out with his grandparents today, because I made foolish plans to apply for a couple of jobs without realizing that oh yeah, today is Saturday. Which is the logical successor to Friday. Which was yesterday. Duh.

Hmm, this is kind of becoming an exercise in its own right, isn’t it. How long can I blather on about absolutely nothing in a desperate attempt to keep doing the same? Actually, about — wait for it — this long. You should all come play in the comments section, though. Comment moderation is an important job, and I’d love to have it today. It’s almost like a legitimate reason to stay right here in my chair.


4 Responses to Nothing, really.

  1. nothardlyscruffy says:

    you’re going at it completely backwards.

    you need to strip to your undies, lie down on a quilt or a pelt or something, get lovingly oiled with something arcane, and submit to an every-inch massage by eerily powerful hands until all you can say is “Nnhhhhh.”

  2. sarawr says:

    KIP YOU ARE SO CREEPY. Gah, massage! Gah, “eerily powerful hands!” Gah, EVERYTHING! GAHHHHHHHHHH.

  3. lethal says:

    I massage myself twice a day (morning & evening) with grapeseed or olive oil and a little essential oil. It’s really nice. Tonight, I got a friend of mine to do it too & we sat for like an hour massaging ourselves in the living room.

  4. Anne says:

    I have this pregnancy yoga dvd sitting on my shelf. I have an excuse though – it’s not suitable for the first trimester apparently so I have two weeks to go. I have issues with any kind of formal exercise too. Until I get into it and start feeling good. Mostly I just walk everywhere.

    I am also creeped out by Kip’s massage comment. I have to think really hard about M giving me a back rub just to feel ok again ;) Are you someone who can’t handle being touched for massage? I have a friend who can’t stand it.

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