Stormy skies.

The job search continues apace, but I have decided to kind of ignore the potential results until they become actual results. I spent most of yesterday alternately agonizing over daycare and sleep issues, fantasizing about real checks made out to me, and reading celebrity websites. (What? It’s a viable option for strategizing major life changes. Shut up.) I also painted my toenails and fingernails this strange shade that looks awesome in the bottle but always ends up kind of boring and close to beige when I put it on. I don’t know why I don’t remember these little details sooner.

Today the worry and the celebrities and the beautifying are not worth the effort, though. I spent the first of last night tossing in feverish discomfort (damn this lingering cold/flu/allergy thing) and the rest of last night soothing a frightened toddler. It was awesome! I’m so glad the first thunderstorm of the year made its appearance at three in the morning! I’m also glad, without any sarcasm, that Connor sleeps in a big boy bed now, because I really don’t think the two of us would fit into a toddler bed.

That’s what he wanted all night long — I’d fall asleep, he’d call, “Mommy, Mommy!” I’d get up and tuck him in, reassure him, locate necessary stuffed animals, turn to leave… and he’d go all quivery and say, “Will you lay down with me?” I am a sucker before dawn, folks. Of course I climbed into bed to lay down with him, and of course he drifted off peacefully, and of course I started to get a little drowsy, and of course then he kicked me in the chest. Lather, rinse, repeat, with occasional breaks wherein I would tiptoe back to my own bed, only to be yanked upright by thunder and a toddler’s cry.

And see, look! We’re back to worrying about work again, because I feel like toasted, melty ass this morning, and can you imagine if I’d had to go to work instead of lolling about the house in my workout clothes? Ha ha! It is to laugh! I know I said I wasn’t going to use my tired brain to obsess over this stuff today, but the more I think about it the more terrifying it sounds. Theoretically, if I work Michael will be getting up for midnight emergencies, but he will sleep through anything including sex (on occasion), so in practice I will be getting up. Or staying up, on nights when I can’t sleep. Basically, in this house there is a finite amount of sleep to be had, and it seems to be all used up on the cats, Connor, and Michael. I am probably catastrophizing a little, but it’s hard to be a morning person when you last hit the sheets 48 hours ago.

Enough. Enough! I will find something else to write about, like… um… cheese, or the unsettling way I forgot to buy cigarettes and ice last payday and now we are out of both for the next week, or the fact that I have not gotten any presents by mail in days. I suppose I could also toss this one to the comments section and bow out gracefully: What does your brain have on repeat these days?


6 Responses to Stormy skies.

  1. totallyscruffy says:

    frankly? this godamightyawful cold which I am the last of the three of us to have, which I have had for a week and am afraid I will have for another week, which is making it impossible for me to stay awake and giving me so much joint pain that it hurts to pull a Kleenex out of the box, no kidding. Next week Tuesday is my next thesis deadline, and Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are the conference in Monterey. I just want to crawl into the futon and disappear.

  2. Anne says:

    Britney Spears. Need you ask?

  3. dedanna says:

    Looks like we got yer storms, Sara, it’s been snowing all night, and is expected to snow all through the day. A total of 6″ is expected.

    BUT, a high of 50 for tomorrow, so. :p

    I’ve taken care of our mutual relatives. Check your I.M. message history if you haven’t.

    Hope you and Connor both are feeling better!

    Britney Spears? *gag*


  4. dedanna says:

    Oh, and btw, Sara, I’ve called our mutual relatives’ respective father, the one nearest you, and told him of the circumstances to come at the end of the day, also of the circumstances with you. I do believe he’s not too happy with this mutual relative either, because he said “GOOD! Do it!”

  5. mildlyscruffy says:

    I can’t decide what that was — more cryptic or more ominous.

  6. Anne says:

    Britney Spears? *gag*

    Yeah. I blame pregnancy. It’s making me do weird shit.

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