Putting it delicately.


I know that there are like five million things I need to write about here, but can I just be crass for a minute? Okay, good. Thanks. You’re a sweetheart. Ahem.

I am continuing to have the best birthday ever. Yes, the actual day was almost a week ago. Yes, I have so far received a present or two every single day since The Day. Yes, I have had people I love tell me how much they love me. Yes, I am kind of amazed. I feel like I need to acknowledge this publically, because man — the last time I had a birthday this good I was in California, and Rory, Adri, and Kip busted their asses to make it happen. This year? I don’t know what the big deal is, but it’s been awesome.

If you don’t hear from me for five or six years, I’m just writing my thank-you novels.

In news that isn’t all about me, Connor had his full developmental evaluation yesterday. When I say “full,” I mean that an evaluation that was scheduled to take just under an hour took three and a half hours because the kid just… kept… going. He tore through the two-year-old portions, raced through the three-year-old exercises, breezed through the four- and five-year old exams, coasted through the six- seven-year old review, and then we stopped because he was bored and cranky.

Are you there, God? It’s me, Sara. What the hell do I do with this awesome kid you gave me?

There were a few things he couldn’t do, obviously. He couldn’t draw some of the shapes on the four-year-old exam; he drew the lines right but couldn’t seem to connect them up into a cohesive shape. When he was shown a bunch of individual letters, then a group of extremely similar letters (like… b, followed by b, d, and a p), he was unable to “match” them about half of the time. Invariably he would pick the original letter’s opposite (picking a d after being shown a b, for example), which freaked me out with thoughts of dyslexia, but the examiner said that kind of confusion is really common among pre-schoolers. He was great at parroting back simple to moderately complex sentences, but he kind of lost it with the really long ones — at one point the examiner asked him to say, “In the winter, the dog barks when I sled down the hill on the snow,” and he responded by saying, “Um, the bog darks — wait — in the winter I go sliding — and it snows?”

There were also some incredibly stupid questions, like the one — intended for three-year-olds — that asked, “What are tents made out of?” The correct answer was “vinyl,” but the examiner just rolled her eyes and skipped the question. When I asked Connor what tents were made of, he said, “Popo,” so there’s that. I think I’d be a little alarmed if my toddler knew about vinyl, but maybe that’s my Generation Y paranoia setting in.

I think our finest moment, though, was when Connor was fidgeting on the couch during a series of very boring questions about opposites: He shoved his hands down between the cushions, gave me a very charming smile, and pulled out a shiny purple lighter. “Look, Mommy!” I don’t think we have anything to worry about.

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2 Responses to Putting it delicately.

  1. dedanna says:

    When he was shown a bunch of individual letters, then a group of extremely similar letters (like… b, followed by b, d, and a p), he was unable to “match” them about half of the time. Invariably he would pick the original letter’s opposite (picking a d after being shown a b, for example), which freaked me out with thoughts of dyslexia, but the examiner said that kind of confusion is really common among pre-schoolers.

    And that examiner is perfectly correct. If you hadn’t said that the examiner said it, I would have.

    Also, did you know that children at Connor’s age often (and I mean often) display much higher intelligence than they seem to actually have? This is also perfectly normal, because different children go through different life experiences, and also have parents/teachers with different methods of teaching them. So, to me, Connor’s still a perfectly normal almost 3-yr-old, with normal reactions to things. Each child is an individual, with their own individual mind-sets, much like adults are (only on a simpler level, if I’m making sense).

    Y Generation, you say? This is with all generations. The paranoia of it keeps hold each passing generation, because there are so many who don’t grasp the previous concept, that each child is individual; it doesn’t necessarily make them smarter or less smart; it just makes them who they are, and what they’re supposed to be.

    Hope this is of some comfort. :D

  2. Anne says:

    I would have automatically said tents were made of canvas! It’s been a looong time since I went camping.

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