fuck this noise.

One problem down, one problem up.

Money is mostly fixed. Or it was, until I found out a couple of weeks ago that I have a tumor that's got to come out.

Short story, because I don't feel verbose: I started bleeding off and on from a sensitive area (insert juvenile coughing here) and having some pretty bad intermittent pain a couple of months ago. It got really, really bad a couple of weeks ago. I went to the emergency room. They thought I was having a miscarriage (for two months, sure). They did some X-rays, bloodwork, and a sonogram just to check things out. It's a tumor in my uterus. It's pretty big. It wasn't there at all six months ago, so it's probably growing. It's not likely that it's deathly cancer or anything, but it has to be removed and biopsied. I have to go to either Albuquerque or Santa Fe for this procedure. I might (probably will) have to have my tubes tied, too, in order to help regulate hormonal fluctuations (along with hormone therapy), because they thing all my feminine troubles are related to hormonal imbalance.

I had some cysts removed last year, and they were fine. I've shown no sign of regrowth since, until now. Emergency Medicaid will pay for the surgery, but not the travel. I have absolutely no way to pay for travel (gas, food, lodging — it's a day procedure that'll fuck me up enough that I won't be up to a four-hour drive home). I feel like shit and I don't know what to do. I don't want to have my tubes tied, but it's the best way to ensure that this doesn't happen again. It's “likely” that I'll need a hysterectomy in a few years anyway.

The whole thing sucks. The whole thing is also why I haven't been around much lately. I feel terrible physically, and I feel worse emotionally. The end.


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