1) Michael did not get the lovely job he applied for. Several dreams have been derailed. Also, fuck those people — Michael was made for this job.
2) “Libertarians are tooootally, like, left-wing hippies! They want to legalize everything and raise welfare! You are, like, soooooo kewl!”
3) I have discovered that when I have large chunks of sobriety for contrast, I actually do not enjoy being drunk.
4) All of my closest friends are far, far away.
5) I want to live in Seattle. Okay, we've known this for at least ten years, but really — I want to live in Seattle.
Wah, wah, wah. See also: waaaahhhhh. Tonight made me grumpy. Please send job offers and/or cigarettes.